How My Friend Almost Snatched My Husband
Many women are reluctant to trust their female friends with their spouse. You might want to accuse them of being untrusting or paranoid. But wait until you read the experience of the Lagos woman in this story whose best friend almost snatched her man. Naij.com Lagos contributor.Chinenye Obidigbo writes about the experience of Amaka who later got her groove back. Very interesting read:
Trust is essential for marriage and relationship to work
My name is Amaka and I have been married for the past 12 years. I have four kids (two boys and girls) and I have the most amazing husband. I am trying to correct the misconception that all marriages are wacky are—because that’s not true. It would not be nice if some single girls out there have the impression that marriages do not work. Marriages can work if you make it happen.
I got married 12 years ago. We dated for six months and got married afterwards. My friends had said then that it was too soon– that we barely know one another. I was living in Enugu while he lives in Lagos so I visit occasionally. After six months, we figured it was time to move our relationship to the next level which was very amazing. I was madly in love with him. We got married and started living the life of married couples.
READ ALSO: My Husband Doesn’t Last A Minute On Bed
We loved each other so much but there were things we didn’t know about ourselves. The long distance posed a very big problem for us. I have an assertive personality. I can challenge anybody, including my husband. As a young girl, I had guys who always say it is a man’s world. I despise this chauvinist worldview so much. As far as I’m concerned, it is nobody’s world and gender shouldn’t be a problem in relationships and marriages.
While growing up I made up my mind not to be a liability to any man at all. My husband did not like the way I challenge him on every issue. We argued a lot. When he cannot take my standing up to him, the argument would turn violent ending up with severe beating and physical bruises. The first time my husband hit me, I ran to my aunt’s place and later went back home. It happened again and again.
After such beatings, he would come back to apologize and tell me how much he loves and misses me, and how the things I said to him hurt him so bad and how he is hot-tempered as well. I told myself, I can’t continue like this. I had to work on myself. I stopped talking too much, prayed more often and asked God to help me with my temper.
Sometime if I don’t know what to reply to him, I keep quiet and that really helped a lot. I stopped challenging him and always make him feel more superior to me. Like magic, the whole fighting stopped. I was pregnant the second year and gave birth to a baby girl. I was so engrossed with taking care of my princess that I forgot to give my husband the attention he deserved.
When my baby was six months old, I went through my husband’s phone for the first time and discovered that he was cheating on me. The girl in question was supposed to be my best friend but she started sleeping with my husband. I went through the whole whatsapp, 2go, BBM chats saw the way my best friend started flirting with my husband and how he tried to resist and how he finally fell for her tricks.
After my best friend shared some of her nude pictures with him, I was enraged but at the same time, I was way too determined to be calm about the whole thing. I did not mention it to him when he came to pick up his phone because I would have insulted him and say so many hurtful things to him. So I pretended like I saw nothing. The next day, I started jogging with some neighbours.
After two weeks, I got a treadmill and started making use of it at home. I was still jogging in the morning and making use of the treadmill at night. Three months later, I had lost the whole baby fat coming back to 50kg which was my initial weight, I did not give up. I continued with my training to look fit. One night my husband came to me saying that we needed to talk. I responded by asking if everything was alright. He said everything was ok!
READ ALSO:Why I Cheated On My Husband
He then opened up to me about his affair with my best friend. He told me everything that happened and even went ahead to show me the whole chats and how he ended the affair with her and how she is still calling back, begging for more. Of course she was going to beg for more because my husband is well endowed and heavily gifted in that area. He was crying and apologizing but I told him not to worry that it was my fault. I stopped giving him the attention he needed and he sought attention elsewhere.
We made up and after two days he bought me a car out of guilt, but I told him to stop worrying that everything is alright. I liked the fact that he got me a car, my dream car so to say. We started enjoying our lives the way we used to like going to the movies, club, hanging out and so on.
I gave him all the attention and the best sex he could ever get outside our marriage. I took in the second time and gave birth to a set of twins (2 boys) three years later. He didn’t cheat on me because I made sure I didn’t stop being a mother, a wife, a lover and a friend like I used to.
Our lives became sweet again, I lost baby fat four months later, work was going on fine, we were so blessed, our home was the best though it didn’t mean that we don’t have our misunderstandings occasionally but I made sure that if I must pick a quarrel with him, the reason must be worth it.
I tried my possible best not to be harsh or rude to him no matter the circumstances. I decided to make my marriage and family work which was my ultimate goal and utmost achievement. Today, I am living in peace with my loving husband and the best children I could ever wish for. I made my marriage work with God by my side.
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