ALL STARS

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You know those celebrities that you see everywhere…except in movies, on TV, in music videos, or in concert? These stars are always hanging around, but never actually accomplishing anything great, and at this rate, they're like "fetch." They're just not going to happen.
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Hailey Baldwin

Hailey Baldwin is only relevant because of the people around her. Her dad is the second or third most relevant Baldwin brother, she's dating Justin Bieber (unless by the time you're reading this, she's not), she's BFFs with Kendall and Kylie Jenner (ditto), and she occasionally hits a red carpet when she can serve as someone's plus-one. She's supposed to be a model, but be honest: where, other than Instagram, have you seen or will you see her? It's cool, we'll wait.
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5 Seconds of Summer

The thing about Aussie band 5 Seconds of Summer is that they're pretty famous…but can you name any of their songs? Any of their members? No. The only time they make headlines is when they're making jackasses of themselves, like when they insinuated that they don't even like their own fans (except the groupies, of course), talked smack about Justin Bieber, and bragged about being hungover in a recent Rolling Stone interview. C'mon, kids. Grow up. You're supposed to be professionals.
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Hailee Steinfeld

Hailee Steinfeld was nominated for an Oscar at just 13 years old for her incredible performance in True Grit (2010). Unfortunately, since then, her films haven't done well: Romeo and Juliet (2013), Ender's Game (2013), 3 Days to Kill (2015), and even Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) haven't been well-received by audiences or critics. Steinfeld tried launching a pop career with "Love Myself," an ode to physical self-love disguised as an empowerment anthem, but her subsequent singles haven't charted. She'll be relegated to a background member of Taylor Swift's squad until she finally has a hit in something.

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Joe Jonas

Without his brothers to back him, Joe Jonas needs to accept that he's going pretty much nowhere. His solo effort, Fastlife, bombed in 2011. His new band, DNCE, didn't get much help from his former Disney stardom, nor from him highly publicized romance with supermodel Gigi Hadid. He didn't have success in 2012 with his dating show, The Choice. Though brother Nick has had solo success, Joe Jonas may be better off pulling a Kevin and embarking on a reality show, followed by a quiet family life with which to fade into obscurity.
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Chantel Jeffries

Chantel Jeffries "dated" Justin Bieber briefly during the height of his legal troubles in January 2014. Now, the Instagram beauty is showing up on red carpets…and we can't figure out why. Seriously, what does she do? And who keeps inviting her to things?
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Frankie Grande

Frankie J. Grande keeps trying to piggyback off half-sister Ariana Grande's fame. The problem is, where Ariana is a talented vocalist, seasoned Broadway performer, and former Nickelodeon star, Frankie doesn't actually do anything. He shows up at awards shows, dances occasionally, and was one of the most reviled castmembers of Big Brother in 2014. It's about time he accepted that his sister got all the star power in their gene pool.
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Christina Milian

Christina Milian had a hit back in 2004 with "Dip It Low." She has a reality show, Christina Milian: Turned Up, and occasionally appears as a correspondent in a throwaway gig on The Voice, but she hasn't had a hit song of her own in ages, despite being talented and stunningly beautiful. Here's hoping she's investing the money she has well, because she may be forced into retirement sooner than she thinks.
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Tyga

Tyga may have thought shacking up with a satellite Kardashian would be good exposure, and to be fair, he's partially right. A lot more people know the "Rack City" rapper's name now, but it's because he embarked on a relationship with a minor, and now we're all just really grossed out. It's beside the point that his PR-heavy romance didn't help his album sales: his most recent release at the time of this writing, The Gold Album: The 18th Dynasty, moved fewer than 5,000 copies, including streaming. It's not helping his bank account much, either, as TMZ reports that he barely has the racks to cover his rent.
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Kristin Cavallari

At some point Kristin Cavallari realized that unlike Lauren Conrad, she doesn't have the enviable lifestyle or design skills necessary to maintain her Laguna Beach fame on her own. She tried to remedy that by hooking up with Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, who dumped her in 2011…only to get back together and get hitched when the news broke that she was pregnant. Since then, she's kept her name in headlines with occasional music video cameos and rampant anti-vaccine propaganda. Girl, just give it up and be a WAG.
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Cody and Alli Simpson

Cody Simpson is talented, but he lacks the essential star power (and some meaner people would argue the good looks) to make it. He's had a lot of chances, opening for Justin Bieber and appearing on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills occasionally with then-girlfriend Gigi Hadid, but the Aussie teen star can't seem to break it stateside. Similarly, his younger sister Alli has been trying to ride his coattails, and considering he can't even happen, it's a safe bet that she won't either.
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Olivia Wilde

It's confusing: Olivia Wilde is one of the most beautiful creatures on this planet, she's engaged to Jason Sudeikis, and she was great on House. So why, for the life of her, can't she be in a hit movie? After Tron: Legacy (2010), she basically became the queen of direct-to-DVD (or just box office flops). She might "happen"…if she fires her agent and starts picking out better projects.
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Jonathan Cheban

Jonathan Cheban has been riding the Kardashian wave since it started, appearing on countless episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and even other reality shows, including Millionaire Matchmaker. If he's wondering why no one takes him seriously, it's because he has even less discernible talent than the family that he follows around all day, every day.
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Rita Ora

Rita Ora has all the makings of a star: She's gorgeous, has a body made for sin, the voice of an angel, and Jay Z in her corner. But the British beauty just can't seem to get a hit song, no matter how many features she gives (to Chris Brown, Snoop Dogg) and receives (from Drake and Calvin Harris) or how many cameos she has in movies like Fast & Furious 6 (2013) and Fifty Shades Of Grey (2014). She's more known for her messy relationships than her music, which is unfortunate, but also what happens when you're more focused on turning yourself into a tabloid staple than you are in recording, writing, or promoting your own work.
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Paris Hilton

When Paris Hilton lost Nicole Richie, she lost all the actual appeal of The Simple Life. Her televised efforts for a new BFF didn't last, nor did her music or acting careers. She's making money as a DJ now and attempted a musical comeback with Young Money, but none of that money is coming from anyone with an actual appreciation for production.

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